The band aid

So my little Tylenol experiment did not go as planned. I got home yesterday and there were 2 ice cold Corona’s in the fridge and after my experience with Tylenol and booze in a failed attempt to leave this earth as a kid I decide to just drink the beer….and some tequila. Funny how the same person is involved in both events.

Anywho, I must admit the drinks were a nice ending to a long ass day. The Symptom‘s of heartbreak can be easily patched with a tequila bandaid. The hard part is the next morning when it is ripped off.

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via Daily Prompt: Symptom

Numbing the pain

I’ve recently experienced several heart breaks(sometimes it’s just that way). It’s not like I have never had my heart broken before but it just seems to be getting worse as opposed to easier. Maybe it’s the fact that I keep allowing the same person to break it? I don’t know.

While googling how to heal a broken heart I came across this interesting article in “The New York Times”. YES, I do actually google everything.

Does it work? Will Tylenol really help to heal this broken heart? I imagine it can help ease all the physical pains that I am feeling.Yea, I know a fistful of tylenol a day can wreak havoc on my liver and kidneys. So can the alcohol that I would like to consume daily except that I worry about the calories.

I just popped some some advil, not sure it will have the same effect. But I will update in a week or so to see if Tylenol actually helped me heal.

Definitely an interesting read if you have the time.

May the luck of the Irish be with you❤️🍀❤️🍀!

I’ve always celebrated ST. Patrick’s Day, I mean what’s not  to love, beer, soda bread corned beef yum. Also my oldest is 1/4 Irish so I thought it only fair to have some sort of tradition growing up. The corned beef not the beer.

But I never really felt the Luck of the Irish until 12 years ago. Here is a previous facebook status I would like to share from a year ago:

This year, I chose not to dwell on all the fear and uncertainty that we experienced in March 11 short years ago. But focus on the love and hope. Some may know my little girl  was born with a heart ❤️disorder that required emergency surgery at just 6 weeks old. She’s a fighter and after 9 uncertain days she was released from the hospital. I always say ” Its the luck of the Irish 🍀that brought her home”.

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Now she’s here cartwheeling her way into the U.S. Cheer finals. My oldest daughter is part Irish, so let’s celebrate!Today also has another significant beautiful reason for celebration. My nephew👶🏽 will be born today. Waiting anxiously for updates from beautiful grandma 

Thank you God for these gifts. 

So as you celebrate today and raise your glasses heres my wish for you all “May neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you!” 

I didn’t write that lol

#MyBabyGirl #Survivor #Fighter #LuckOfTheIrish 

Update 2017: My daughter is once again going to the U.S. Finals, my nephew is celebrating his 1st birthday and I will be of course engaging in Jai’nanigans.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Luck

The Main

If you have been keeping up with me you must be thinking “WOW, this chick has way to much going on”. You are correct, but this is the only one that really counts. I’d drop all my hoes for him.

I gave my heart away when I was a young girl. Seems like a gazillion years ago and it was. But no matter how much time has passed. He will always be the one for me, while being the one for someone else.

It’s a twisted triangular prism type of thing. Many sides, all connected to him. I knew he was the one for me when we reconnected a few years ago. And although he has settled (with someone not me) he is not settled at all. No, I don’t harbor any false hope that someday he will solely be mine, but I do take comfort in the fact that he will never really belong to anyone.

No this man is not especially good to me, actually quite the opposite. Somedays I think he means to destroy me on purpose. But there are other moments of kindness, a tiny gesture that has the ability to erase the bad, a stolen kiss that reminds me our time is limited. So I seal in my thoughts,and all my words become buried into my soul, sometimes escaping through my eyes. He hates that.

Why do I continue this? Because a little of him is better than nothing at all. Because when he is apart from me there is a giant hole in my chest that can’t be filled by any person, place or thing. You might think I have low self-esteem, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

I know I am worthy of more, I know I am better than this. I also know he needs saving. I  know that I can save him even if it means killing myself. That’s what love is, a sacrifice.  So I’ll sit blindly with an open heart waiting for him. My main.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not wasting my life away. I’m actively  dating, hoping to find a new “The One”. Maybe he is already here Soldier Bae, maybe I’ve yet to meet him or maybe he just doesn’t exist. Either way I’m living.

This helps, blogging, getting my thoughts out, all the things I cannot say.

Thank you.

 

Soldier Bae

If you read my May-December blog, you may be a little familiar with this story. If not feel free to read it before joining in progress.

What can I say. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. And right now he is the best thing ever. Do I think I may ultimately wind up destroying him? Yes.Do I think that this will end terribly? Yes. Yet I can’t help myself. I can’t keep away.

We were apart from each other for a few weeks, I was hoping that it was enough to make him  forget about me, he celebrated a birthday during that time. Making him a year older, birthdays tend to do that. I had some books that I had been gathering for him and made arrangements for him to  come pick them up.

Boom, just like that. It was as if no time had been lost between us. He forgot all the things I said about wanting him to have the family I couldn’t provide. It all fell on deaf ears and an open heart. We met for drinks.I thought we could keep it friendly but that did not last very long and then he gave me this:

No one has given me anything this sweet in a long time that did not expect something in return.


Even the puppy is sad when he is not around.


I don’t want to love him, yet I do although it’s not the kind of love that he wishes for and deserves. I care, I worry, has he eaten, has he slept, is he thinking about me. It’s love, but it’s different. I can’t Immerse myself in this relationship.

Besides the 20 year age difference, his impending deployment helps me keep my distance. I don’t want to think of having to let this wonderful person go. What if he never returns? No it is far better to remain in this state of non labels than a state of attachment.

A state where we are just two people that enjoy eachothers company . He keeps me young while I keep him at arms length. My soldier.

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2017/03/14/immerse/

How to Heal

As a mom, I would love to put my children in a bubble and protect them from certain things. Bullies and a broken heart are at the top of this list. Today I write about heart break.It is my greatest Desire to protect them when I feel that a potential partner may not be the one. Sue Me.

We never want to imagine our daughters balled up in their beds crying over some boy or girl who broke their heart but we can imagine it. But what if it’s our sons? Society teaches us that we have to raise our young men to be emotionless and strong. No crying, especially over a girl.

So to watch my own son, my only son, my grown son going through this is so heart breaking to me.I’m still feeling raw over my own heart break that occurred 6 days ago, it’s as if I am reliving it. I don’t want to give him the wrong advice. What do you do when you can’t help, can’t heal. There is no band-aid in the world that can cover this wound.

I can only tell him it won’t hurt this much next week, and hopefully much less the week after. It’s much like when someone dies, you cry and then one day you realize they are in a better place and are at peace with your feelings. My hope is that he will realize he is in a better place and move on.

I love you.

 

via Daily Prompt: Desire