While watching the news this morning, my ears perked up when I heard the news anchor say that a story was coming up regarding a trend that is putting men’s sexual partners at risk. Never did I imagine it would be the very same experience that occurred with my most recent sexual encounter in Blurred Lines.
I breathed a huge sigh of relief, it has a name…..stealthing and then immediately felt embarrassed because I didn’t want my young daughter to make any correlation to me or this news story. She was fast asleep. She’s 12, and there will be plenty of time to talk to her about these kinds of situations when the time comes. I then breathed another sigh of relief. It’s a thing, a very real thing. I wasn’t crazy to feel violated. I wasn’t alone.
Is it wrong that I feel so relieved, that other women have shared my confusion and shame. That I feel like I am part of some strange club. That I no longer feel alone or confused by his actions. I’ve forgiven him, he did not know better and I wanted to move on.
I now know, that this is a discussion I will have with every new relationship. Openly discuss MY boundaries and the consequences that Will be dealt if they are broken.
I no longer have to live in shame.
So I began watching “13 Reasons Why” with my kids. I thought it was going to be another “after school type special” the kind that touches the surface of a hot topic but never delves deep into the heart of it, but I was wrong.
It was gritty and a honest look at bullying and teen suicide.
It was a bit difficult to watch as I found the main character very relatable but it did open up a dialogue with my kids regarding these very real facts that happen to kids both male and female everyday. They learned that not only was I their mom, but I was once a kid, once bullied, I was sexually assaulted by my peers more than once, labeled the school slut by school faculty and classmates alike and once attempted to take my own life.
It told my story and I’m glad that I watched it. And here is why you should watch it too:
- This is happening in every school in America.
- Bullying is not part of the J.H.S/H.S experience.
- 1 in 65,000 children ages 10 to 14 commit suicide each year.
- Know the signs.
- Speak to your children or anyone that you love about this very real topic.
- Suicide is preventable.
- Suicide is NOT an an attempt to gain attention.
- If you need someone to talk to reach out to the
- If you think you were sexually assaulted please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673)
- There is always hope and there is always help
- Know that you are not alone.
- Suicide is NEVER the answer
- I was once Hannah Baker