May the luck of the Irish be with you❤️🍀❤️🍀!

I’ve always celebrated ST. Patrick’s Day, I mean what’s not  to love, beer, soda bread corned beef yum. Also my oldest is 1/4 Irish so I thought it only fair to have some sort of tradition growing up. The corned beef not the beer.

But I never really felt the Luck of the Irish until 12 years ago. Here is a previous facebook status I would like to share from a year ago:

This year, I chose not to dwell on all the fear and uncertainty that we experienced in March 11 short years ago. But focus on the love and hope. Some may know my little girl  was born with a heart ❤️disorder that required emergency surgery at just 6 weeks old. She’s a fighter and after 9 uncertain days she was released from the hospital. I always say ” Its the luck of the Irish 🍀that brought her home”.

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Now she’s here cartwheeling her way into the U.S. Cheer finals. My oldest daughter is part Irish, so let’s celebrate!Today also has another significant beautiful reason for celebration. My nephew👶🏽 will be born today. Waiting anxiously for updates from beautiful grandma 

Thank you God for these gifts. 

So as you celebrate today and raise your glasses heres my wish for you all “May neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you!” 

I didn’t write that lol

#MyBabyGirl #Survivor #Fighter #LuckOfTheIrish 

Update 2017: My daughter is once again going to the U.S. Finals, my nephew is celebrating his 1st birthday and I will be of course engaging in Jai’nanigans.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Luck

Enough already

If you are from the New York, Tri-state area you can totally understand:

Dear Mother Nature,

Enough already.We get it.You’re mad at us. But don’t you think you have tortured us enough by teasing us with delightful spring like weather one day and a 30 degree drop in temperature the next?

Thankfully for us in the 5 boros we didn’t get the Massive  amount of snow that the weather forecasters predicted, yet it is enough to be quite annoying and mix that with the geniuses at the MTA…dangerous.

This was not fun to navigate.

 

It could have been totally worse, I agree we have had worse winters. But the cold has become painfully brutal on our skin and is making us weary in our lives. We need the warm sunshine and sandy butts!

So please Mother Nature, we are sorry and we won’t do it again. See you next winter.

Xoxo,

Jai

via Daily Prompt: Massive

The Main

If you have been keeping up with me you must be thinking “WOW, this chick has way to much going on”. You are correct, but this is the only one that really counts. I’d drop all my hoes for him.

I gave my heart away when I was a young girl. Seems like a gazillion years ago and it was. But no matter how much time has passed. He will always be the one for me, while being the one for someone else.

It’s a twisted triangular prism type of thing. Many sides, all connected to him. I knew he was the one for me when we reconnected a few years ago. And although he has settled (with someone not me) he is not settled at all. No, I don’t harbor any false hope that someday he will solely be mine, but I do take comfort in the fact that he will never really belong to anyone.

No this man is not especially good to me, actually quite the opposite. Somedays I think he means to destroy me on purpose. But there are other moments of kindness, a tiny gesture that has the ability to erase the bad, a stolen kiss that reminds me our time is limited. So I seal in my thoughts,and all my words become buried into my soul, sometimes escaping through my eyes. He hates that.

Why do I continue this? Because a little of him is better than nothing at all. Because when he is apart from me there is a giant hole in my chest that can’t be filled by any person, place or thing. You might think I have low self-esteem, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

I know I am worthy of more, I know I am better than this. I also know he needs saving. I  know that I can save him even if it means killing myself. That’s what love is, a sacrifice.  So I’ll sit blindly with an open heart waiting for him. My main.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not wasting my life away. I’m actively  dating, hoping to find a new “The One”. Maybe he is already here Soldier Bae, maybe I’ve yet to meet him or maybe he just doesn’t exist. Either way I’m living.

This helps, blogging, getting my thoughts out, all the things I cannot say.

Thank you.

 

Soldier Bae

If you read my May-December blog, you may be a little familiar with this story. If not feel free to read it before joining in progress.

What can I say. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. And right now he is the best thing ever. Do I think I may ultimately wind up destroying him? Yes.Do I think that this will end terribly? Yes. Yet I can’t help myself. I can’t keep away.

We were apart from each other for a few weeks, I was hoping that it was enough to make him  forget about me, he celebrated a birthday during that time. Making him a year older, birthdays tend to do that. I had some books that I had been gathering for him and made arrangements for him to  come pick them up.

Boom, just like that. It was as if no time had been lost between us. He forgot all the things I said about wanting him to have the family I couldn’t provide. It all fell on deaf ears and an open heart. We met for drinks.I thought we could keep it friendly but that did not last very long and then he gave me this:

No one has given me anything this sweet in a long time that did not expect something in return.


Even the puppy is sad when he is not around.


I don’t want to love him, yet I do although it’s not the kind of love that he wishes for and deserves. I care, I worry, has he eaten, has he slept, is he thinking about me. It’s love, but it’s different. I can’t Immerse myself in this relationship.

Besides the 20 year age difference, his impending deployment helps me keep my distance. I don’t want to think of having to let this wonderful person go. What if he never returns? No it is far better to remain in this state of non labels than a state of attachment.

A state where we are just two people that enjoy eachothers company . He keeps me young while I keep him at arms length. My soldier.

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2017/03/14/immerse/

Breakfast Bae

*For the record, I don’t believe the “word” Bae should ever be used.Ever.

So I met Breakfast Bae, about 2 weeks ago. We met via this app called “happn”. I like the concept of this app. If you’ve never used it here’s some quick info:

It’s an app that connects you with people who you have crossed paths with, and if you like him/her you hit the heart. If they heart you back you are invited to chat with each other. Or some brave souls can just skip the crossing fingers portion and just charm the person of interest. They then have the option to chat or ignore you.

BB charmed me. I was curious. Honestly I would have hearted him if I had seen him. Not a bad-looking guy, IG was available for snooping, not terribly young and very sweet. We have completely opposite schedules and he lives in another state, so it makes connecting on a personal level very difficult.

So after a few days of chatting he decided to ask me out to breakfast. Makes sense, I’m getting into the city as he’s getting ready to leave it. I get here so early that I have time to have a leisurely breakfast. So we met.

He was just as adorable in person he looked exactly like his picture and was a gentleman but then again we were in a crowded restaurant in broad daylight. Aahhhh the piece of mind that meeting in a crowded public place brings. I felt completely at ease.

He walked me to my building and we said our goodbyes. I like this one, I just hope our conflicting schedules and the distance won’t be a major factor.

To be continued…..

 

Cab Driver Bae

*For the record, I don’t believe the “word” Bae should ever be used.Ever.

I met Cab Driver Bae over the summer. Cute maybe creepy story actually, I was waiting for my cab after leaving a party and he happened to get the call. We chit chatted during the ride home, nothing crazy. He dropped me off.

Well, before I could even get up the stairs, he was texting me. He somehow got a hold of my number, let’s just say he did something unethical. I was a bit bit flattered and creeped at the same time. I mean I can’t remember the last time that someone went out of their way to get to know me.

After the initial minor shock we chatted a bit more and for the few days following. We even enjoyed each other’s company over brunch and had a nice pool date one hot August morning. I remember being impressed by this pool date, I mean the guy worked all night and hates the sun, but was willing to just hang out with me all day by the pool.

The relationship was definitely advancing, I mean he was young, but not too young. He was a hard worker, single (or at least so I was told) he had a busy schedule as well so understood sometimes I was busy with work or my family and the most important thing…. and he was FUNNY! 

So what went wrong?

We continued to chat via text, but the response times for both parties became longer and longer and things just eventually cooled. Our last conversation was in November….

So imagine my surprise.

I received out of the blue a text message from CDB last Friday, very random and again sorta cute…a simple Happy New Year. It’s March. I guess that was his opener. Hey I harbor no ill feelings, things happen, people drift apart and sometimes that’s just the way it is.

But he was very adorable inviting me to the movies and I accepted. I thought, wow a guy that doesn’t want to just take me to a bar and get me drunk thinking I will go home with him. This guy is awesome, what a gentleman.

And that he was. He picked me up and we had drinks and appetizers before the movie. And aside from a few stolen kisses during the movie he tried nothing fresh. Of course he is a guy and did ask if I would go home with him. I declined, I told him that he is starting over basically from square one.

was I wrong? And no I haven’t heard from him…perhaps in July.